Andrew tossed the paper to his brother Simon and showed him the part about John the Odd getting arrested.
"This man was innocent. He did nothing wrong; instead of causing mischief or causing 'disruption' like this crap says he was, the things he said made people think twice about their lives and if there really is something more than banging girls, getting wasted and getting into grad school. And yet they arrest HIM? That is seriously twisted! I wish I could see them get Levi Roberts, that douche who charges everyone way too much at the tuition office and keeps the profits to pay for his fancy smancy car, mansion, whatever. I swear, I don't know what the heck is going on!" He tossed the fishing rod to his brother. The two guys were out fishing at a local pond to try to pay for the tutition costs Bright Futures didn't cover.
But at that moment, Andrew froze, because that man he saw back at John the Odd's baptizing thing was approaching him.
Jesus. His name was Jesus.
"I'm not even worhty to tie his shoes!"
The Messiah? Maybe? Or was it just some bad ramen noodles that made him a little loopy?
"Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men," that Jesus guy said.
Normally Andrew would have thought, "Okkkaaay this guy is a hippie or a druggie or something, but I'm gonna get out of here right now if he thinks he can walk up to a random pair of dudes and tell them to follow him." But Andrew did neither of these things.
Instead he left his fishing rod behind and found himself following Jesus. He turned around, and Simon was doing the same thing.
What was Jesus doing?
******************************************************************************************
"My parents couldn't believe that I had dropped out of FSU to follow some 'religious hobo.' But here I am," said Peter and they all laughed. They were standing in the Ocala Publix parking lot, trying to dodge all of the frat boys in their Corvettes.
"But ya know, something about Jesus makes you do things you would have never dreamed of doing-like going from riches to ramen noodles," Matt the former Suntrust employee said, who used to overcharge students for services whenever he could and kept the profits for himself. That is, until he met that Jesus guy.
"Speaking of ramen noodles," piped in Tom, "we need to buy stuff for dinner. What's on the shopping list that Jesus wrote?" John flipped it out.
"Okay, we just need rice and eggs."
"Wait, rice?" Judas asked.
"With eggs?" James said.
"That's what Jesus said, at least." John muttered to himself.
"I'm starting to think I'll never really get Jesus," Tom sighed. "Between these dang parables and weird shopping lists, I'm just confused."
"But who wants a God we can really understand, anyway?" John added. "Tell you what. Why don't we at least go across the street from Publix to where Jesus said he'd be and go see exactly what dinner plans he has in mind?"
"We nominate you, Jesus' BFF! You and your bromance," said Phil, and everyone laughed. John rolled his eyes.
"Oh, whatever, you kids! I'll go see what my BFF wants for dinner," said John, and they all laughed harder. John left the parking lot and crossed the street.
But John wasn't rolling his eyes anymore, but instead staring in shock. Because Jesus was talking to a lesbian woman at a PRIDE booth set up at Heritage Grove. He was drinking a bottle of water.
What was Jesus doing?
No comments:
Post a Comment